We're Here, We're Queer and We Don't Want Anymore Bears!

It's National Coming Out Week (NCOW) and I have been so busy that I haven't been able to attend any of the events at school.

I walk into the building Monday morning and BAM it's rainbow city in the lobby. There are huge rainbow banners hanging including one that says 'We Reject the Bush Agenda'. Ha ha. It was great. Apparently they're having a keg party tomorrow in the courtyard but I don't think I'm going to make it because I'll be driving to Reno. Or at least that's the plan. I still haven't heard from that law firm I interviewed with so I may stay until I do.

So in honor of NCOW I offer you two coming out stories of which I hope you will find entertaining....

I think it was my first summer after college when I came out to my mom. And it wasn't by choice. It was more of an emotional outburst. Talk about controlling your temper.

My brother and I were arguing about something stupid, I don't even remember what it was. We were both pretty angry and he was about to leave the house when he shouted down the hallway "Have you told Mom you're gay yet?" Obviously I had never told him (I found out later he found an email I had sent to an online friend. This was back when we had AOL, using one computer and one account and you couldn't delete the emails).

I don't know what came over me but suddenly a flood gate of emotion burst open and I started to get really upset and I started to cry. A little at first and then it was all out sobbing. Of course my Mom wanted to know what was going on. I didn't say anything at first and finally I sobbed "Would you still love me if I were gay?" Then she said "Of course I would, why?" and at this point there was no stopping it so I continued to sob and said "Because I am." Then mom started crying. Then she gave me a hug as we both continued to cry.

After a few minutes we were able to tone down the waterworks and we went into her bedroom to talk. She asked how I knew, was I sure, did I want to talk to someone about it? I wasn't prepared to answer these questions. Then she told me that she loves me no matter what.

I think at some point she said she just doesn't want me to be alone or something to that effect. Then she went to make dinner and I went onto the PLFAG website and I printed out this very helpful pamphlet "So Your Child Has Just Told You They're Gay." And I gave it to her to read and I think it made her feel better.

Being emotionally spent I wrote an email to Pajama telling her but I think Ian beat me to the punch.

We agreed not to tell my dad. Things were weird at first and for a couple months we didn't really mention it. Then one day I was driving my mom to work so that I could use her car and she says 'Are you sure you're really gay?" I did notice that her attitude changed after that. Before I was afraid to watch Margaret Cho or Will and Grace because I wasn't sure how everyone would react. But I think they have become a lot more comfortable with it.

I think it was before my first year of law school that my dad found out. I think both of my brothers knew at this point but I hadn't told my dad. So one day I come home to find my mom standing at the stove crying. My brother was in the kitchen and I asked what was wrong but he didn't say anything and left.

So I go to ask my mom what was wrong and I can tell immediately that she was a little tipsy. She looked at me and said "You're going to be mad at me." And after some conjoling she said that she had told dad that I was gay. Apparently a friend at work had been fired so she came home and had a few drinks. I'm not exactly sure how the conversation turned to me being gay but there you go.

My dad came in and gave me a hug and I finally convinced my mom that I wasn't mad at her. So now they all know. I'm not sure when I would have told them had it not been for my brother. It was a shitty thing for him to do but in the long run I think it really helped me.

My other funny story was telling my friends from Santa Clara. (NOTE: I am only using the first letter of the names for privacy reasons).

The opportunity had arisen at several points but I never said anything. I knew from talking to them that they would be totally ok with it but it's still so hard to finally say. So it was after the first semester was over just before Christmas break. We were having lunch at the Cheesecake Factory and J was started talking about how she came out to her mom. Although I had knew unoffically that J was a lesbian this was the first time she had said it openly to me. So I took my chance and said...

"Do you want to hear my story?" And they asked "what story?" And I said "Of when I came out to my mom." P's reaction was the funniest because she thought I had told E and J. She kept saying "I knew you first and you told them before me!" ha ha. Of course E already knew. She's the biggest fag hag I have ever seen. But apparently P didn't catch on. So then I proceeded to tell them the story I told above.

Then at the end of the first year they took me to my first gay bar. We went to "The Bar" in the Castro and then went to Badlands which was funny because it was totally 90's. They played the Macarena even. After going to Badlands we went back to "The Bar".

The place was packed and as we were trying to squeeze our way through to the back, some random guy grabbed me, kissed me on the cheek and then as E was pulling me away he grabbed my ass. E wasted no time telling P.

So there you have it. I'm here, I'm queer and I don't want anymore bears (unless they be animatronic). Also, I definitely need to come up with some better nicknames for people.